I didn’t go see Annette today. Not that I didn’t want to, but I am coming to the realization that the young woman in the hospital bed is no longer my baby. She has to get through this on her own.
This is not to say that I don’t want to help her out, but my options are limited. I cannot take the pain for her. The hospital staff are taking good care of her and she is making small improvements on a daily basis. Though I would like to be there with her all the time I am finding that if I am there during the day I tend to feel like a distraction.
The excellent care she is currently receiving is dependent upon her having health insurance. The only health insurance that Annette has comes from my work. Therefore circumstances dictate that my time is best spent working so that I can guarantee she continues to have health insurance.
Annette is now exactly four weeks away from being 19 years old. I know she is old enough to deal with what she is going through on her own. At that age I was at Fort Benning, Georgia attending jump school. I was thrown together with a bunch of people I did not know in a challenging situation. Though not an exact analog, Annette’s situation is similar enough for me to understand that I have to let go as much as I can.
She has many painful challenges in front of her. Her medical condition makes her challenges harder than those of a typical young lady of her age. Like other people her age she has to learn to overcome these challenges without depending too much on other people.
No matter how much I love her or try to take care of her, I cannot make her walk again. She will walk again, or not, based on her own efforts. In learning to walk again she should learn much about self-determination and independence. And in learning these things she will hopefully begin to grow into adulthood.