Not all progress is good…

I went to visit Annette this evening, along with my wife and R. She has been recognizing people. Now she is nodding to answer yes and turning her head to say no. She hasn’t done this before and I was really happy with her progress.

We fed her dinner. She ate most of a plate of pasta alfredo with broccoli. She drank some coke. Then she ate ice cream. Things seemed to be going well.

After she ate her heart rate rose and she seemed agitated. My wife was talking to her and she said in the low whisper she uses to speak that she wants to go home. My wife and I both assured her that she would get to go home after she gets better. This didn’t do the trick.

My wife and I left the room for a while hoping this would help. When we returned to the room about 15 minutes later she was still agitated. Annette asked us to leave a few minutes later.

The three of us left. We went to a restaurant for dinner. None of us was really upset, we were just trying not to burden Annette.

I can’t imagine what this is like for her. From what I can see the closest analogy I can think of is a really bad hangover.You wake up and someone is there, fall asleep and when you wake up again they aren’t there, and you have to wonder if you imagined them being there in the first place.

The problem is I don’t really know what it is like for her. The doctors and nurses tell me what they think she might be feeling, but until she can tell us it is all a guess. I imagine she is frustrated, frustrated beyond belief.

We know she is in some amount of pain. Her body doesn’t work the same way it used to. We don’t know what she remembers. What we do know is that she wants to go home. We just don’t know when that can happen.

Yes she is doing much better today than she was nine weeks ago. She is steadily improving. It is great to see the improvements she has made. It is also painful to watch the pain and confusion that all of this is causing her.

About Leo

Leo Barrera Expert at dealing with conflict. Grim, determined, a little chaotic, a threat to good order. Veteran. Chicano. Husband. Father. Writer. Photographer. Gardener.
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